Being

The Decision

Do you want to be happy or unhappy?

Happy?  Really?  You really want to be happy? Seriously?  Good, let's move onto the next step.

Do you deserve to be happy?  Are you sure?  Are you sure there isn't a voice deep down that is telling you otherwise, maybe just sabotaging you just a little (or a lot)?  Maybe you take a step or two forward and then back again?  Maybe work is good, but family isn't, or vice versa?  Did you know there is a voice in there?  Yes, everyone has a voice, absolutely everyone.

How do you know if you love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy?  How do you know if you have the self-esteem, confidence, self-worth, etc. to allow yourself to be happy?

You learn to hear your thoughts.  Your inner voice.  Your beliefs.  Some call it being conscious.  Some call it being present.

Do you really hear them?  When do you hear them?  How do you hear them?  Can you observe them objectively?  Do you need to meditate?  Do you have a blow up and realize you caused it?  Do you do something you lose yourself in, a sport, a hobby and then see/hear?  Did you have a near death experience and all of a sudden you can smell again, feel the breeze, hear background noise? 

Once you've heard them...  Do you understand that your thoughts aren't you?  Do you know you can question them, invalid them, squash them, embolden them, enhance them, live by them, etc.?  Do you also know that if you refuse to hear them "and" view them objectively there will be no end to you trying to prove them?  You will operate on autopilot, in a state of unconsciousness, blindly following the orders your brain is delivering.  They are just a set of beliefs ingrained due to experience, authority figures, etc.  But, that is "it"!  Just beliefs.

Condensed...

• Hear your voice/beliefs
• Question those beliefs objectively
• Revise/Replace/Keep thoughts that work for you

It is a bit circular, the key though, is to make the conscious decision of happy or unhappy because that will determine what thoughts work for you and keep you vigilant.  It is a bit time consuming at first, as you initially get glimpses into your conscious/mind, but the peace that ensues as your ego goes on hiatus builds momentum so quickly that it takes over in a positive cycle (if you choose happy).

Thoughts of I need a degree will be replaced with so and so and thousands of others did it without a degree.
Thoughts of I'm too old will be replaced with I feel young, I have so much time.
Thoughts of I don't deserve it will be replaced with we all have value and I have so much to share with the world.
Thoughts of I always give up, I am such a quitter will be replaced with I'm not afraid to take something to a point where failure is a possibility.
And on and on...

We all have beliefs, some are empowering, some are limiting, some are outright disastrous, but we choose them.  Yes, we choose them, and once you change the inside, the outside follows suit.

Feed Your Inner Voice

• Your inner voice is your persistent internal monologue. Once you consciously hear it, you will know yourself.
• The type of voice you use determines your level of confidence, your outlook, your beliefs, and so much more.
• Craft a voice that is loving and kind to you, and that gives you the permission to love and be loved.
• When you swing and miss, say, “Just wait until I make contact,” not “I am such an idiot.”
• Align your external and internal voices. If you fake it to the outside world, change will take longer.
• Your voice will probably initially sound like mine and your mom’s, but in time you will mold it into your own.
• You must unconditionally accept and embrace yourself as you are — and train your inner voice to do the same.
• The only person you will be with your entire life is you, so make the experience with yourself pleasant at all times.
• Make sure you consciously feed your inner voice good thoughts or it will subconsciously feed itself.
• Good will flow into your life only when you have chosen to love yourself and feel you are worthy of it. 

Your Dad’s Lesson:
I was the picture of confidence in my early years: shoulders straight, unwavering, focused. Excelled at sports, good grades, cute girlfriends. It wasn’t real. Intellectually, I knew that confident people got ahead, so I faked it. Underneath it all, I didn’t believe in myself and didn’t understand what it would take to turn that around. As I got older, I focused on the outward things that defined me to the world: accomplishments, possessions, and so on. Further, for fear of tarnishing that fragile outer shell, I played life safe. I kept thinking that just one more feather in my cap would get me over the top, but the boosts were only temporary. Eventually, after lots of trial and error, I found that the only way to build confidence is from within. Your confidence isn’t determined by your reputation, a goal you scored, what you have, or how you got it. It is determined by one thing: how you feel about yourself. And how you feel about yourself is determined by your thoughts, your inner voice. If you keep that inner voice kind, forgiving, and empowering you will be that way to yourself, your partner, and your children.