Do you want to be happy or unhappy?
Happy? Really? You really want to be happy? Seriously? Good, let's move onto the next step.
Do you deserve to be happy? Are you sure? Are you sure there isn't a voice deep down that is telling you otherwise, maybe just sabotaging you just a little (or a lot)? Maybe you take a step or two forward and then back again? Maybe work is good, but family isn't, or vice versa? Did you know there is a voice in there? Yes, everyone has a voice, absolutely everyone.
How do you know if you love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy? How do you know if you have the self-esteem, confidence, self-worth, etc. to allow yourself to be happy?
You learn to hear your thoughts. Your inner voice. Your beliefs. Some call it being conscious. Some call it being present.
Do you really hear them? When do you hear them? How do you hear them? Can you observe them objectively? Do you need to meditate? Do you have a blow up and realize you caused it? Do you do something you lose yourself in, a sport, a hobby and then see/hear? Did you have a near death experience and all of a sudden you can smell again, feel the breeze, hear background noise?
Once you've heard them... Do you understand that your thoughts aren't you? Do you know you can question them, invalid them, squash them, embolden them, enhance them, live by them, etc.? Do you also know that if you refuse to hear them "and" view them objectively there will be no end to you trying to prove them? You will operate on autopilot, in a state of unconsciousness, blindly following the orders your brain is delivering. They are just a set of beliefs ingrained due to experience, authority figures, etc. But, that is "it"! Just beliefs.
Condensed...
- Hear your voice/beliefs
- Question those beliefs objectively
- Revise/Replace/Keep thoughts that work for you
It is a bit circular, the key though, is to make the conscious decision of happy or unhappy because that will determine what thoughts work for you and keep you vigilant. It is a bit time consuming at first, as you initially get glimpses into your conscious/mind, but the peace that ensues as your ego goes on hiatus builds momentum so quickly that it takes over in a positive cycle (if you choose happy).
Thoughts of I need a degree will be replaced with so and so and thousands of others did it without a degree.
Thoughts of I'm too old will be replaced with I feel young, I have so much time.
Thoughts of I don't deserve it will be replaced with we all have value and I have so much to share with the world.
Thoughts of I always give up, I am such a quitter will be replaced with I'm not afraid to take something to a point where failure is a possibility.
And on and on...
We all have beliefs, some are empowering, some are limiting, some are outright disastrous, but we choose them. Yes, we choose them, and once you change the inside, the outside follows suit.